AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

OH GOD PLEASE NO.

PLEASE I CAN’T, I JUST CAN’T.

I REFUSE. NO. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH.

WHY ARE THEY SO LATE. WHY DO I HAVE TO STAY UP UNTIL 4AM TO SEE DEVOLVER DIGITAL. WHY.

WHY DOES THE EA SPORTS BIT SEEM TO LAST LONGER THAN THE COMBINED TOTAL OF ALL HUMAN EXPERIENCE.

THE FLOW OF TIME IS RELENTLESS, AND I AM BUT A PEBBLE HELD UNDER ITS WHITE, FOAMY WAVES. THERE IS NO SLEEP, NO MEANING, NO HOPE, JUST A PARADE OF MEN IN GRAPHICS TEES AND BLAZERS TELLING US ABOUT THEIR “REVOLUTIONARY EXPERIENCES” THAT WON’T BE OUT UNTIL LATE 2020.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Joe is LPVG’s resident hardware nerd. If it’s overpriced and has gaudy RGB lighting, he’s probably drooling over it. He loves platformers, MMOs, RPGs, hack ‘n slashers and FPS, with his favourite games being Mirror’s Edge, Left 4 Dead, Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Oblivion and Dead Space. Don’t ask him about his unhealthily large Monsters Inc memorabilia collection. Seriously, just don’t ask…