As a gaming enthusiast who deeply loves her cat, I’ve spent many a night lying motionless in my bed, wondering if there is a way to involve her in my favourite pastime. Well, good luck Smudge, I’ve written this article to recommend you some video games to try. They’re all mechanically simple, thematically appropriate to your species stereotypical interests, and playable with your lack of opposable thumbs in mind.
You may need to borrow my gaming hardware to play them, which is cool with me so long as you try not to scratch up the screens too much.
Smudge, as an indoor cat, you don’t have many chances to socialise with other cats besides the occasional trip to the vet. Considering I won’t let you outside to meet other cats in person, Neko Atsume is probably the next best thing. A touch screen game, which should hopefully be fully playable with your cute squishy cat paw beans, you can collect a whole staple of friends who will visit you every day. Just don’t be getting any ideas about increased food consumption from that one excessively fat kitty in the game.
This one should be easy for you, Smudge. Tap on the fish a bunch and watch it flop about, helpless and defensive. Train those fish to be as strong as they can be, then “retire” them to your tummy to raise a new fish. Fatten those helpless fish up time and time again, in your quest to eat the biggest, strongest, fattest fish possible.
Okay, I know I’m a bit stuck on the whole games about fish theme, Smudge, but you like fish and I need games you might feasibly play. This is happening and nothing anybody does is going to stop it.
Ridiculous Fishing is another game about you getting your hands on some fish, but rather than focusing on fattening up a single fish, you get to collect a lot of them all at once by hooking them on a line and then shooting them out the sky. It’s all tapping again (hooray for games your paw pads can interface with) and just needs you to tap on fish. Easy enough, right Smudge?
Come back here Smudge, I’m trying to teach you about video games. I’m sorry I made you hungry with all these fish mentions, but I need you to focus. No amount of shouting is going to make me feed you before dinner time arrives.
Game for Cats
Okay Smudge, let’s drop the creative pretense. There’s this game called Game for Cats. It’s a bunch of flashy stuff for you to paw at, from mice to laser pointers. You like those things, and they’re on a screen so it’s technically a video game. I know you don’t care about tightly woven mechanics and interesting narrative frameworks, I just want to get famous for having a video game-playing cat I can pitch articles about. This game is literally designed with cats in mind. Surely this is a game you can get on board with?
Fine, I get it, why play video games when your literal job is to lie around getting fed and loved.
Guess I won’t be forcing my cat to play video games with me any time soon. Sucks, was going to try to teach her how to play Dark Souls by Christmas.