Valentine’s Day is here, the day of love, passion and relationships. Loved by those in love and hated by the rest, it can be a tough time when you’re single. Why do they get all the fun while we’re sat here like it’s any other day?

Well not this year, my friends. This year I have gathered together four of the most eligible gaming bachelors, and through the precise science of the internet quiz we will be able to accurately match up your perfect date for this, the holiest of days.

Who is your perfect gaming boy? Answer these quick questions to find out!

Who asks who out for the first date?

  1. Me, proudly and confidently. Even better if it includes flowers and chocolates, and maybe even a small firework display.
  2. I accept before they’ve even finished the question and can’t stop thinking about how great this day is.
  3. Me, via text and followed up with the freshest memes I can find to take the pressure off.
  4. If they want me, they’ve got to come and get me.

Where do you go for the date?

  1. A gig, the louder the better. Maybe there’s a mosh pit, but if not I’m sure we can find a way to start one of our own.
  2. The cinema. I don’t really mind which film, I just want to spend some nice, quiet time in their company.
  3. The park. It’s cheap, cheerful, and doesn’t need a whole lot of effort from either of us.
  4. Out for a quick meal, we’ve got a busy night ahead of us.

Who pays?

  1. I pay, and we only get the most expensive of treats for the whole evening!
  2. I pay. I want to impress, though, so I get the cheapest stuff for myself.
  3. Eh, we go halves. No biggie.
  4. I am an investment worth making.

After a nice evening, you…

  1. Go in for the kiss while sat on the sofa. All’s fair in love and war!
  2. Brave a quick peck on the cheek on the doorstep after walking them home. At least if things go wrong now you’ll be heading off soon.
  3. End up staying all night chatting and playing video games.
  4. Head off to the bedroom for the main event.

How long do you wait until you text them afterwards?

  1. I was sending them kissy-pouty selfies while I was walking out the door. Why wait?
  2. The text has been sat in my drafts all day. Is 12 hours too needy looking? Or too distant?
  3. Whenever I find a new meme.
  4. I wait to see if they text me first.

Do you believe in “the one”?

  1. Of course! Love is an instinct, a fiery burning in our very soul! You know love when you feel it!
  2. I’d like to, but I’m not sure if I’m anybody’s ‘one’ either.
  3. Nah, too much pressure. Why not just have a good time?
  4. Why limit yourself to one? Love comes in all shapes and kinds; one person is restrictive.

What do you think of Valentine’s day?

  1. One of the best days in the year, I love all that romantic stuff!
  2. It’s cute, but I’ve never had the chance to really do it.
  3. Bit too commercial for me.
  4. Any day can be Valentine’s day with a bit of effort.

 

Karoosh

Mostly 1s: Karoosh – Far Cry Primal

With a lust for life and a non-stop attitude, you’ve got enough of a pep in your step to keep up with burly cave boy. After a hard day’s work, nothing makes you happier than a lively night full of adventure, noise and lights, preferably not remembering most of it the morning after. You’re a live-in-the-moment kind of person, someone who acts first and thinks about the consequences later.

Despite that, you never forget about those closest to you. The special people who make your slap-dash tour of the world worth living are the single most important thing to you, and you always want to make them happy.

Winston

Mostly 2s: Winston – Overwatch

You’re the quiet type, but still want to impress a date. Crowds make you uncomfortable, but you’re willing to try to push that aside for the sake of others. Intelligent in a dorky, endearing way, you may not know the best thing to say, but your eagerness to please rubs off on others.

You’re a bit lonely at times, which drives your desperate need to make the best impression on those around you. If you just be the kind, warm, friendly person you are, people will come in the end!

sans

Mostly 3s: Sans – Undertale

You’re heckin’ chill. Nothing fazes you, scares you, perturbs you or even slightly befuddles you, resulting in an endlessly likeable, relaxing demeanour. It doesn’t matter how much of a doofus you might be, you let life just wash over you, and you sit back to enjoy the little things in life.

There is a protective edge to you, though. An odd glint in your eye that can make people unlucky enough to be on the receiving end of it feel off-kilter. Your date will feel totally safe with you, which is the main thing. You’re not here for anybody else.

Fisto

Mostly 4s: Fisto – Fallout: New Vegas

You like to do the do. You’re about the carnal sensations above all else. Your body is a temple, and that temple worships the deities of getting it on. While you find something special about sharing the experience with someone you love, it can also be just a bit of fun.

You have a knack for knowing what you want, and what your partner, or partners, want, and somehow you manage to make it work for everyone. Pleasure is your game, and you feel most alive when the people around you are in a state of pure, physical bliss as well. Loving relationships are often built on the backs of people like you. But if you’d rather just have a bit of fun with none of the emotional attachment? That’s cool too.

Joe is LPVG’s resident hardware nerd. If it’s overpriced and has gaudy RGB lighting, he’s probably drooling over it. He loves platformers, MMOs, RPGs, hack ‘n slashers and FPS, with his favourite games being Mirror’s Edge, Left 4 Dead, Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Oblivion and Dead Space. Don’t ask him about his unhealthily large Monsters Inc memorabilia collection. Seriously, just don’t ask…

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