If current trends continue, Fire Emblem will be all that remains on planet Earth by 2019, according to experts.

Speaking at the International Summit for Fire Emblem Prevention (ISFEP), Dr. Wolfgang Fitzgerald argued that, following the announcement of three different games currently in development, real concerns must be raised about the possibility of a “grey goo” scenario where Fire Emblem learns to replicate, eventually wiping out all life on Earth.

“Jesus how much Fire Emblem is there now?” Dr. Fitzgerald said, “There’s Heroes for mobile, Warriors for Switch and 3DS, and then another full one next year for the Switch as well? We’ve already proven the worrying regenerative capabilities of Fire Emblem within the Super Smash Bros. games, and people didn’t listen to us then. Seriously, shit’s getting wild.”

The conference also hosted talks such as “Marth and Me: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Loved Anime Swords in Smash” and “Fire Emblem: An Epidemiological Approach”, and the conference itself has seen upwards of three guests attend.

Governments around the world have remained quiet about the growing threat of these games, however Dr. Fitzgerald believes they will be simply unable to for much longer:

“There’s so many of them. Amiibos, games, mobile apps, Smash Bros, Nintendo Directs, they’re all around us already and nobody is noticing,” He began, “We’ll soon have Fire Emblem for cars, hospital equipment, nuclear weapons and space stations, and everyone will think that is just fine. We’re moving into a scary age where Fire Emblem just happens without anybody creating it, and when that time comes we’re already dead.”

The International Summit for Fire Emblem Prevention is being held in Marthville, Iowa until January 27.

Joe is LPVG’s resident hardware nerd. If it’s overpriced and has gaudy RGB lighting, he’s probably drooling over it. He loves platformers, MMOs, RPGs, hack ‘n slashers and FPS, with his favourite games being Mirror’s Edge, Left 4 Dead, Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Oblivion and Dead Space. Don’t ask him about his unhealthily large Monsters Inc memorabilia collection. Seriously, just don’t ask…

%d bloggers like this: